Death Is Inevitable.
Life and death are interwoven into every living organism down to the most cellular levels. And while perfectly curated online “realities” might have you swiping to forget the yin to your yang, at some point in our lives, we will all come face-to-face with the undeniable truth that life does not exist without death. (Hard stop)
We see this all around us, in the cycles of nature, cultural interpretations, and in our own lives. We all experience a beginning, a middle, and an end - whether we are able to contextualize this or not.
Death is an inevitable and natural part of life.
It’s the kind of truth that doesn’t go away just because one chooses not to look at it. Death anxiety does not need your gaze to implant itself into your energetic sphere. At some point, every single one of us will find ourselves meeting our last moments - regardless of how unexpected or not the journey presents itself to be.
Death acceptance can be incredibly uncomfortable to sit with.
But what if it doesn’t have to be? What if facing death helps you live more fully?
What if we could sit with our mortality awareness and the feelings of fear and uncertainty, without turning our heads away, and understand the meaningful purpose of what it means to be alive and what it means to die? An extraordinary threshold that holds the power to remind us of the fragility of our time here and how fortunate we are to be in this very place, at this very moment, in our perfectly imperfect bodies.
Regardless of how fucked up the world around us might seem to be, it does not cancel out that we are living, breathing souls having a human experience, which allows us to connect with others and experience all the feels that come with existing in this life.
What if not hiding our heads in the sand meant that we could fully understand the urgency of the time we’ve been gifted? A chance to make an impact each and every day. Not in a performative or attention-seeking way - but the kind of impact that can simply inspire a stranger to smile during what might otherwise be a rough day. Whether anyone else sees it or not.
Processing the thought of your own death is no simple feat. It can come with a wave of emotions, and depending on who you’re confiding in, it might cause ripples of discomfort. And that’s okay. Sit with it and allow those feelings to arise. If you are not surrounded by people who can go there with you, a session with an end-of-life doula may help you clarify some of the feelings that are arising.
4 Ways to Process Your Fear of Death
Here are a few suggestions on how to start processing your emotions:
Name Your Feelings.
Grief, fear, anger, guilt - whatever unexpected combination comes up for you, acknowledge it without judgment. Sit with the discomfort of this process and your fear of dying without trying to “fix” anything. Your response around mortality isn’t a problem, it’s a response. Let your awareness be your guide.
Sit With Your Emotions.
Set a timer for 10 minutes, close your eyes, and let yourself feel, I mean really feel - all of it - without narration, analysis, or steering towards anything other than what is. Toxic positivity will not help you here. Your feelings are real and need to be allowed to exist as such. Maybe that means letting those tears roll down your face. Maybe it means feeling the contractions of your heart and stomach as you breathe, to reconnect with your present self, as it soothes death anxiety. The goal isn’t resolution, just be present with all the feelings that exist within you - messy and all. Need someone to process with? Here’s where a death doula can step in.
Spend Time in Nature.
This can offer a visceral reminder that beginnings and endings are happening around us at all times. It’s a part of the circle of life, and while I don’t believe we are the only beings who understand this, we have an innate ability to reflect on what it means. Consider the beauty of a breathtaking moment, or the miraculous precision that lives within animals and foliage - that all share our fate of a beginning, a middle, and an end - as though they are acts of service that remind us to appreciate what our eyes are able to drink in on any given day.
Journal Your Reflections.
Would you do anything differently if you knew your time was limited? What have you lost already in your life that shows your inner strength to survive painful endings? What do you hope to be able to say about how you lived when you meet your last moments?
Death isn’t the opposite of life, it’s a part of it.
Our awareness of our mortality is what makes us human. Our search for purpose within the time we’ve been given gives our lives meaning and depth.
What shifts when we stop seeing death as an enemy and view it more as a frame?
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